Obvious:

A large steak that’s medium in taste or a smaller one, excellent in taste.

Not so Obvious:

I stay home most evenings and recite to my children.

“No, you can’t.”  “Be careful.” “Better safe than sorry.” etc.

Or, because of my efforts and resulting self-improvement, I’m home less often but then say to my children “Try it and see what happens.” “You never know until you give it your best shot.” And so on.

There is a relationship between Quantity and Diversity.

Eat so much you finally fill the stomach cavity.

Or eat such diversity you finally fill the mental need for variety.

Combine all this and you finally have the time and quality you need.

Hard to do. Needs thinking. But worth it!

These are Related:

# 129 Diversity – 130 Collecting Solutions – 188 Better Business – 219 Control

275 Hitler in New York – 295 Out-of-The-Box – 296 The 3rd Option – 306 Parent-ing

‘need’ a favorable Description so do you “perform”. Until your performance is acceptable … to them. Then they throw you a bone /description. May I repeat: All people ever do is describe. You change it into Judgement /evaluation /condemnation. Not them. You. Stop it. These are Related: # 18 Being Triggered – 132 Taking it Personally – 182 Grey – 242 Gentleman – 266 Results

After all, they know best. Years and years of experience, etc.

Their economy is growing 3 times faster than almost all other economies.

Sure they are approximately at our 1960 level.

But at 3 times the speed, each 10 years they grow 30 years.

The parents are the baby sitters for their children’s child.

And teach the child the old, proven, reliable ways of thought and action.

By the time the child reaches 20 years old, 60 years of economic growth will have happened.

When you think of how long ago the parents learned their learnings…

You are looking at a family disaster (or ‘revolution’) in the near future.

Obvious to you and me.

Yet how hard are you trying to do the very same thing to your family?

Oh, I see your case is different.

Really!??

Relax, and let things take care of themselves. (see # 169 Scaffold)

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These are related:

# 20 The ‘Gift’ of Knowledge – 21 Interpretation – 37 Or Its Equivalent – 63 Free Will

79 Truth Time – 104 Power – 113 Success – 140 Making Progress – 162 Consider the Source

219 Control – 227 Long Hair, Short Hair – 233 Input – 269 Circle

Long hair.

Her mother used to always cut her hair “too” short.

Years later Susan promised to give her new child what she never got.

Short hair.

And you are now promising…

Why not let them (young and old) determine what they want.

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To reinforce this read any two below:

# 63 Free Will – 66 Opposites – 104 Power – 169 Scaffold

Protecting your child from the outside world becomes:

Parents still nagging ‘children’ at 40 years old.

Darkness, so necessary for a seed to grow becomes:

Sunlight, oh so good/necessary for the sprouted seed.

Being careful lest you make a mistake becomes:

A boring life.

Good is situational.

Next time ask:

* Is it Profitable?

* Appropriate?

Who gains, who loses, who benefits?

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To reinforce this read any two below:

# 20 The ‘Gift’ of Knowledge – 21 Interpretation – 30 Ever-changing Relationships – 36 Prime Time

78 Process – 79 Truth Time – 90 Good /Bad – 99 Perfection! – 109 Understanding – 140 Making Progress

146 Always Right – 159 Make a Mistake – 174 Good /Bad Part 2

You are a scaffold to them.

Which, by the way, is how they – who have their own life to live, whether you like it or not – see you.

Ideally you exist beside them.

Neither helping nor hindering their activities.

You simply (!) are a framework, aside from where they are building, so they do all the work, build all the confidence and take all the credit. (If you do it right!)

You have a lot of work to do in doing this.

You have to be there but not there, if you see what I mean.

You have to support silently but definitely.

You have to be there always but always in a support capacity.

And this applies specially to family, friends and work mates.

That is when I have my best feelings. When I know I played ‘scaffold’ in someone’s life.

As a parent you are a scaffold and not the sole determiner of their future or their experiences.

When my parents were adamant about me not smoking I simply hid my cigarettes in the back yard. And smoked all I wished.

Whereas they were a scaffold regarding alcohol.

I even drank too much. Once.

They put me to bed. (Scaffold at work.)

And I never really drank too much again.

If things are not going well, just back off and become more of a scaffold, and things will improve dramatically.

People will think you are a great person. Which, as a scaffold, you are.

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These are related:

# 11 Feedback – 27 Responses – 63 Free Will – 98 Third Time – 99 Perfection! – 104 Power

113 Success – 121 Carrot & Stick – 145 NO Feedback

On almost everything.

But when I consider the source, I discount almost everything he says.

My father has an opinion on everything.

But when I consider the source, I basically ignore it.

My lawyer sagely talks about what’s wrong with the country.

But when I consider the source…

On the other hand,

My fitness expert says I exercise too much.

And when I consider the source, I immediately slow down.

Next time someone says anything to you …

Consider the source.

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These are related:

# 18 Being Triggered – 19 Expectations – 20 The “Gift” of Knowledge – 21 Interpretation

42 Leadership – 67 Personal Nag – 69 Labels – 75 Same – 81 Second Impressions

83 Being Wrong – 89 Initiating – 97 Variety – 124 One Person – 132 Taking it Personally

140 Making Progress – 147 Interpretation Part 2

I promised to be there at a certain time.

I was 1 hour late.

The meal was ruined. (For both of us!)

She had every right to exercise her mad-ness at me.

I asked my son to tell me when a certain person called. It was important to me.

The person did call but my son did not let me know. I only found out when that person called again.

You have the right but you don’t have to exercise it.

Family and friends usually don’t exercise their rights.

Hmmm, maybe that’s why they’re Family and Friends.

I also built a fairly large company that practiced this.

When people think they get away with something at a company’s expense, they think they have a right to and the company does not.

Yet you fool no one but yourself.

How are you doing?

Dutifully exercise your rights do you?

Is it working?

Maybe you should try NOT exercising your rights and see what happens.

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These are related:

# 13 Changing Change – 27 Responses – 43 Desire

Think of a cog wheel.

All those cogs represent different subjects in that person’s life.

And when two people meet they interact /intermesh. Yet only some cogs fully intermesh. Some just touch. And some are on opposite sides.

My need for business fulfillment won’t happen from my interactions with my wife or children. My need for family is not fulfilled by my appreciation of sports. And so on.

My wife and I have decided to reinterpret our selves as Husband & Wife.

Now our definitions are:

A wife is a ‘Melanie’

And

A husband is a ‘George’.

And a George /Melanie is an ever-changing relationship.

We no longer expect everything must come from a single person /source.

(Annnd, we no longer ‘fight’ as much!)

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These are related:

# 55 Oxygen – 69 Labels – 104 Power