that’s fine… provided the ratio is close to 51 Task and 49 Relationship. Relationship oriented people always go the ‘extra mile’ and give everything away or forgive every error no matter what. Task oriented people install the extra rule or regulation, just to be sure. And that’s where it goes wrong. It’s not that your way is ‘wrong’. It isn’t! However Too much Relationship stuff and you eventually close shop. Too much Task stuff and you get extremely high turnover or outright rebellion (strikes, drugs, etc.). So, first determine which you are. Then deliberately ‘avoid’ being that way. And given your built-in bias, you move faster towards 51/49 and success. ————————– These are related: # 27 Responses – 29 Who’s in Charge? – 71 Nice – 86 Don’t be Yourself! – 96 Habits 160 Combination – 264 Charge & Pay
]]>I promised to be there at a certain time.
I was 1 hour late.
The meal was ruined. (For both of us!)
She had every right to exercise her mad-ness at me.
I asked my son to tell me when a certain person called. It was important to me.
The person did call but my son did not let me know. I only found out when that person called again.
You have the right but you don’t have to exercise it.
Family and friends usually don’t exercise their rights.
Hmmm, maybe that’s why they’re Family and Friends.
I also built a fairly large company that practiced this.
When people think they get away with something at a company’s expense, they think they have a right to and the company does not.
Yet you fool no one but yourself.
How are you doing?
Dutifully exercise your rights do you?
Is it working?
Maybe you should try NOT exercising your rights and see what happens.
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These are related:
# 13 Changing Change – 27 Responses – 43 Desire
]]>Think of a cog wheel.
All those cogs represent different subjects in that person’s life.
And when two people meet they interact /intermesh. Yet only some cogs fully intermesh. Some just touch. And some are on opposite sides.
My need for business fulfillment won’t happen from my interactions with my wife or children. My need for family is not fulfilled by my appreciation of sports. And so on.
My wife and I have decided to reinterpret our selves as Husband & Wife.
Now our definitions are:
A wife is a ‘Melanie’
And
A husband is a ‘George’.
And a George /Melanie is an ever-changing relationship.
We no longer expect everything must come from a single person /source.
(Annnd, we no longer ‘fight’ as much!)
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These are related:
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We use ‘Tuesday‘ whether for marriage /fights or any other emotional overload.
We agreed ahead-of-time that whatever we decide, we’ll do it on Tuesday.
When the yelling gets too much and we decide to divorce, we invoke our Tuesday rule:
If by Tuesday we still want to, then we will.
Same with worry, being mad at our children, kicking them out of the house, handling parents, etc.
When you decide to quit your job or smack someone, say to yourself that you’ll do it on Tuesday if you still want to by then.
I’ve been married for 45 years. (3 children, 2 dogs)
It works.
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These are related:
# 5 Decision – 7 Disaster – 11 Feedback – 27 Responses
30 Ever-changing Relationships – 75 Same – 79 Truth Time – 108 Emotions
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