169 Scaffold

Think of your role in everything you do, every interaction you have, every person you meet, with every family member, as being only one thing.

 

You are a scaffold to them.

 

Which, by the way, is how they – who have their own life to live, whether you like it or not – see you.

 

Ideally you exist beside them.

Neither helping nor hindering their activities.

You simply (!) are a framework, aside from where they are building, so they do all the work, build all the confidence and take all the credit. (If you do it right!)

You have a lot of work to do in doing this.

You have to be there but not there, if you see what I mean.

You have to support silently but definitely.

You have to be there always but always in a support capacity.

 

And this applies specially to family, friends and work mates.

 

That is when I have my best feelings. When I know I played ‘scaffold’ in someone’s life.

As a parent you are a scaffold and not the sole determiner of their future or their experiences.

When my parents were adamant about me not smoking I simply hid my cigarettes in the back yard. And smoked all I wished.

Whereas they were a scaffold regarding alcohol.

I even drank too much. Once.

They put me to bed. (Scaffold at work.)

And I never really drank too much again.

 

If things are not going well, just back off and become more of a scaffold, and things will improve dramatically.

People will think you are a great person. Which, as a scaffold, you are.

 

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