I learned from my parents from my birth until 10 years old. At that time my parents were 25 – 35 years old. Now I’m over 35 and still do what I learned from people …younger than me! This is not necessarily progress. At one point I was clearly correct and my father was wrong. I was a little concerned how he would take it. He smiled, visibly relaxed and said, “Thank goodness, now I can relax.” “Why?” I asked. “Well” he said, “If each new generation is no better than the last one, how do we make progress? So now that I know you are better than me I can relax.” Hopefully you have /had parents with this attitude. If not, when are you going to Progress yourself beyond 35-year-old thoughts and ideas? (And, how insistent are you that your children ‘always’ do what you teach them?) Take charge of your own life and by example your children will learn to take charge of theirs. That’s Progress. ————————– These are related: # 3 Cumulative Knowledge – 13 Changing Change – 30 Ever-changing Relationships 54 Self – 55 Oxygen – 69 Labels – 79 Truth Time – 113 Success
Family
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139 Tuesdays
I’ve been married for 45 years.
It has not always been smooth (!)
We often got into fights that fit the saying: “Divorce? Never! But Murder…”
We use ‘Tuesday‘ whether for marriage /fights or any other emotional overload.
We agreed ahead-of-time that whatever we decide, we’ll do it on Tuesday.
When the yelling gets too much and we decide to divorce, we invoke our Tuesday rule:
If by Tuesday we still want to, then we will.
Same with worry, being mad at our children, kicking them out of the house, handling parents, etc.
When you decide to quit your job or smack someone, say to yourself that you’ll do it on Tuesday if you still want to by then.
I’ve been married for 45 years. (3 children, 2 dogs)
It works.
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These are related:
# 5 Decision – 7 Disaster – 11 Feedback – 27 Responses
30 Ever-changing Relationships – 75 Same – 79 Truth Time – 108 Emotions
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31 Being At-Cause
When you spill something you simply clean it up.
You know you are at-cause of this.
When someone feels bad over something you say, you apologize.
You know you are at-cause.
However, consider a drunk driver coming in your lane, for example.
You are at-effect in that case.
The point is not that you are at-cause in everything you do, (although a strong case could be made, in my opinion!) but far more at-cause than you realize.
Too many times you stay your hand or lower your voice or step away physically or mentally.
Too many times you automatically assume that you are at-effect and “better safe than sorry”. That’s when to remember that you are at-cause in most things. And because of that you could easily give yourself permission to go, do, be and have those things that you’d normally not even consider.
“I had better not question the sales clerk, after all what if they get the wrong impression about me.”
Becomes
“Let me clarify what this person is saying so I can make a better decision.”
Because, being at-cause, I can always say something, when I finally do understand, that’ll make this person feel good about themselves and therefore me.
I am at-cause in most things.
I have to remember that when I hesitate.
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These are related:
23 Become More Creative – 27 Responses – 28 Getting What I Want! – 29 Who’s in Charge?
34 Thinking Positively Negative – 37 Or Its Equivalent – 38 Carrier Wave – 41 Elephants
42 Leadership – 43 Desire – 44 After – 45 Problems – 46 Always – 51 Hindsight – 54 Self
55 Oxygen – 56 Headaches – 83 Being Wrong – 86 Don’t Be Yourself! – 87 Barriers
88 Will Power – 89 Initiating – 102 Response-ability – 103 Ring/Knock Part 2
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30 Ever-Changing Relationships
We are a relationship, ever-changing.
Me and my body, ever-changing.
My and my partner, ever-changing.
Me and my parents, ever-changing.
Me and my job, ever-changing.
One of our first relationships is between our ‘self’ and the ‘world’.
Mistakes (Falling down as we learn to walk etc.) are not forgiven, but rather dismissed as nothing-to-forgive.
Learning /change is normal.
Making mistakes is NOT viewed as making mistakes but simply trial and error in our efforts to create and understand ‘cause-and-effect’.
As children, the unstated assumption is that you’re learning.
Yet, as an adult, there is no longer any allowance for change /learning.
The unstated becomes “You should know better!” etc. Glances, facial expressions of disapproval and all other silent messages adults give each other and themselves!
In this ever-changing world I have difficulty trying to repeat what was once successful. The ‘cause’ is the same but the ‘effect’ is not.
We are a relationship …ever-changing!
It’s this very silent assumption that nothing changes that causes discouragement.
Change your actions in some small, safe ‘relationship’ and see what happens.
You and food.
You and Television.
You and …
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You only wish reading one Doodle would do it!
It’s a subconscious cross-index of select different Doodles
to ‘side-step’ your filters, that gets you what you want.
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To reinforce this, read at least 2 below: If you Read only one
12 Change – 13 Changing Change – 20 The ‘Gift’ of Knowledge – 22 Attitude – 36 Prime Time
54 Self – 60 Patterns – 78 Process – 79 Truth Time – 81 Second Impressions – 82 Limitations
85 Babies – 93 Heaven & Hell – 97 Variety – 101 Relationships