48 Saying No

The villagers took a round about way to their place of worship because of the snake.
Finally the headman went to the Holy man and explained the problem.
The Holy man said “OK walk back straight down the hill, right beside the snake.”
Once they saw the snake was harmless everyone walked straight up.
Soon the snake went to the Holy man and said “I’m being harassed by the children who pull me by the tail. I want to change my agreement.”
The Holy man replied, “Foolish snake, I told you not to bite but I never told you not to hiss.”

Often we are sooo accommodating we are taken advantage of.
Sometimes they expect more from us than others.
And ask for more than they normally would.
Only you know what form this takes in your case.

A firm no, politely said, with a ‘politeness’ excuse /reason as to why you’re saying no, will serve to show your new self. Contrary to your worse fears of total rejection because of this, you will be surprised at the result.
This is exactly what happens, every time:
First they chide you. Then they slightly avoid you. Then (within 2 weeks) they act as if nothing has ever been said, and no longer expect you to always do the extra. When you do offer, they’ll actually appreciate it /you rather than expect it.

What a small price to pay!

————————–

These are related:

4 Common Courtesy – 11 Feedback – 18 Being Triggered – 22 Attitude – 26 Discounting Self

27 Responses – 29 Who’s in Charge? – 31 Being at-Cause – 42 Leadership

55 Oxygen – 59 Hesitation – 80 No Is Information – 86 Don’t be Yourself!